Greater Way Innovation
What Healthy and Abusive Relationships Look Like
http://www1.umn.edu/aurora/pdf/healthy%20relationships%20brochure.pdf
Health & Counseling Services - California Polytechnic State University
San Luis Obispo, CA 93407     
health-counseling@calpoly.edu
Sometimes abusive relationships are easy to identify; other times the abuse may take subtle forms. The examples shown here can help you identify traits of abusive and healthy relationships. In general, abusive relationships have a serious power imbalance, with the abuser controlling or attempting to control most aspects of life. Healthy relationships share responsibility and decision making tasks and reflect respect for all the people in the relationship, including children.


Abusive Relationships:


Using Intimidation
• Making your partner afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures.
• Smashing or destroying things.
• Destroying or confiscating your partner’s property.
• Abusing pets as a display of power and control
• Silent or overt raging.
• Displaying weapons or threatening their use.
• Making physical threats.


Using Emotional Abuse
• Putting your partner down.
• Making your partner feel bad about himself or herself.
• Calling your partner names.
• Playing mind games.
• Interrogating your partner.
• Harassing or intimidating your partner.
• "Checking up on" your partner's activities or whereabouts.
• Humiliating your partner, weather through direct attacks or "jokes".
• Making your partner feel guilty.
• Shaming your partner.


Using Isolation
• Controlling what your partner does, who he or she sees and talks to, what he or she reads, where he or she goes.
• Limiting your partner's outside involvement.
• Demanding your partner remains home when you are not with them.
• Cutting your partner off from prior friends, activities, and social interaction.
• Using jealousy to justify your actions.(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Love Addiction.)

Minimizing, Denying and Blame Shifting
• Making light of the abuse and not taking your partner's concerns about it seriously.
• Saying the abuse did not happen, or wasn't that bad.
• Shifting responsibility for your abusive behavior to your partner. (i.e: I did it because you….)
• Saying your partner caused it.


Using Children
• Making your partner feel guilty about the children.
• Using the children to relay messages.
• Using visitation to harass your partner.
• Threatening to take the children away.


Using Male / Female Privilege
• Treating your partner like a servant.
• Making all the big decisions.
• Acting like the "master of the castle."
'• Being the one to define men's and women's or the relationship's roles.


Using Economic Abuse
• Preventing your partner from getting or keeping a job.
• Making your partner ask for money.
• Giving your partner an allowance.
• Taking your partner's money.
• Not letting your partner know about or have access to family income.


Healthy Relationships:


Non-Threatening Behavior
• Talking and acting so that your partner feels safe and comfortable doing and saying things.


Respect
• Listening to your partner non-judgmentally.
• Being emotionally affirming and understanding.
• Valuing opinions.


Trust and Support
• Supporting your partner's goals in life.
• Respecting your partner's right to his or her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.

Honesty and Accountability
• Accepting responsibility for self
• Acknowledging past use of violence and I or emotionally abusive behavior, changing the behavior.
• Acknowledging infidelity, changing the behavior.
• Admitting being wrong when it is appropriate.
• Communicating openly and truthfully, acknowledging past abuse, and seeking help for abusive relationship patterns.


Responsible Parenting
• Sharing parental responsibilities.
• Being a positive, non-violent role model for children.


Shared Responsibility
• Mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work.
• Making family decisions together.

Brandy                                    jonathan                                        david

David P. Purkey, of Fairmont, WV USA has been involved in various ministry capacities including 30 years of ministry to correctional centers in the USA. David has also ministered in Africa and in a number of places in the USA. David has a great desire to share Jesus to anyone and everyone. Our main concern is that we share a message of the one true God that is LOVE. He is GOOD and He knows no evil. That is the great thing about our God! Another life-changing characteristic about our God is that He loves us all. He is not a respector of persons and He gave His Son Jesus, a ransom for us all, and THAT INCLUDES YOU!


I love what I do for God. It has not always been easy and God has given me the resources to do some more for Him. I really love to see God's power touch people. Thanks to God for the wonderful things we have seen thus far. In the prisons, we bring a message of hope. Some inmates have the potential to be out on the streets again and we want them to be prepared for life. It is so great to see God working in them. I also enjoy praise and worship and some traveling. I love to play good worship music. The ministry of praise and worship is to help us show our love for our Heavenly Father and help us to come close to Him. This can help us show our love to Him that He so deserves.


We are not here to ask of you anything, but if you receive a miracle that we can share, please contact us and let us know the good things God has done for you and we will share as many as possible on the program. You will see on this site and hear of the great miracles God is doing today on this radio program. Please join us each Sunday at 7:15 p.m. (UTC 2315) - Transmitter Angel 1. You can also join us now on 3 stations in the USA. (See the HOME page for the internet links of AM and FM frequency numbers.






David P. Purkey

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